Patience...

Ride it out. That's all I can do.
I'm gonna talk to the school curator, finally.
I spoke with my sis on the phone for about 40 minutes just now. A slow call. In the end she said she will fix me a time with a therapist in Björknäs healthcare center, probably early next year.

So it has come to this. "Professional help", so to speak. Hope they'll be able to help me, or they'll probably try to make me take anti-depressive pills or something. Which I'll never do! The day I take such medication, that day am I a vegetable, on my honor.

*Sigh* I just want it to end!

Another thing, today it is exactly three years since Camilla Mattsson, who went in my class, died in a car accident. I was thinking of calling my ex-girlfriend, Camilla's cousin and best friend, today. They were inseparable, and that's why I met Camilla so often. But I didn't call her, not even an sms did I send, I couldn't find the strength. Last year, and the year before, I didn't remember it was the seventeenth until a day or so after, so I have felt a little guilty. Now, on the other hand, I have thought about her the whole day and I think that will honor her memory.

Isn't it great to think about a dead classmate when you're feeling gravely depressed?

I wish it would end...